I'm a Two-Bit Tramp!

My fiance's mother found this and passed it along as her "suggestion" for the wording on our wedding invitation as a joke (or so she claims). My fiance finds this absolutely hysterical, and has taken to calling me two-bit. I'm continuing to remind him that it is not too late for me to call off the wedding, sell the ring on ebay, and use the money to take a nice long vacation someplace tropical with my best friend (any location preference, Mark?).


Also, we recently received word that a private donor will be giving our lab $75,000 for the purchase of a new protein purification system. I think I may have shed a tear of joy upon hearing the news. What does it say about my life that just the mere news that we will be getting a new purification system sometime in the upcoming months ranks among the top three events of my year, immediately behind passing comprehensive exams and getting engaged?

Julie vs. Laboratory Equipment, Battle #19

As you may recall, I have had really bad luck with centrifuges in the past. You would think that by third year, I would have figured out this simple piece of laboratory equipment. But alas.... no.
At some point over the summer, the really large old centrifuge in the freezer room across the hall turned into a really large, really expensive, new centrifuge across the hall that happens to play music at the end of each round (My Bonnie, to be precise).
I happen to be mass-producing bacteria at the moment since I am on purification attempt #21,943 (at least) and am going through my bacterial pellets at an alarmingly high rate. I was spinning down bacteria all evening yesterday with no problems whatsoever, and had the last batch to spin down this morning. Samples in, set centrifuge, push start, come back 15 minutes later and... rotor lid is stuck on tight. Three wrenches and a jar of motor oil later... rotor lid is still stuck on tight, and there is no way my samples are coming out, short of sawing through the gazillion dollar rotor.

Would now be an appropriate time to give the centrifuge one good, swift kick and just altogether quit?

Halloween Hangover

3,000 miles away, my PI is still ruining controlling my life. This week happens to be one of the rare times when both PIs (we’re one of those dual-investigator laboratories) are out of town at a conference in Seattle. And you know what that means – when Mom and Dad are away, the kids will play! (Although both PIs are male, so while we use the previous phrase frequently, we have yet to establish which is Mom and which is Dad). This event most fortuitously occurred during the end of October simultaneously with the traditional Medical Center Graduate Student Organization open-bar happy hour event. Hmm… no boss, and hours upon hours of free booze. A graduate student’s dream, yes?

With all the stars in perfect alignment, we took this as a giant green light to drink our little hearts out. The night was going really quite well up until the bartender gave us a round of random shots which happened to contain (unbeknownst to me) a new grape vodka. For starters, grape and booze is a bad, bad mix indeed (seriously, it tasted like cough syrup, which is not what I want when I'm out at a bar), but I also happen to have a most unfortunate allergy to artificial grape flavoring, which rapidly ended my night of free drinks.

I made it home a bit before 2am and climbed into bed with the smug satisfaction that there would be no alarm going off in the morning. We took bets on who would be the first to make it to lab the next day, but were quite positive that nobody would be strolling in before noon.

Most unfortunately for me, my PI is either capable of extraordinary telekinesis, or has implanted some kind of guilt-ridden microchip into my brain, because I was in lab by 9:30am. 3,000 miles away, and my PI still has the ability to physically drag me into the lab, even with a hangover. I believe this would be the exact definition of the term whipped, as he now seems to exert complete control over my life, even when not around.

In other news, I also went trick-or-treating yesterday for the first time in 10+ years. Sadly, rather than costumes and candy, I was forced to go lab to lab in my laboratory coat begging for DI water (perhaps a sign that my life has reached a new low?), as the building DI water system went down and I needed to make fresh buffers for a purification run. The confused stares I received while knocking on doors and calling out “trick or treat” were mildly entertaining, however.