Dreidel Dog

Three months ago today, Husband and I woke up early on a Saturday morning, trekked an hour and a half into the suburbs, and came home with our new best friend, a 4.5 year old rottweiler/border collie mix.

As a lifelong cat person, I really had no idea what to expect from a dog.  I’ve definitely been put to the test as a dog owner in the past 12 weeks – trips to and from the vet, ultrasounds, x-rays, more doggie vomit than I ever envisioned having to clean up in my life – but we think (knock on wood!) we’re finally getting her digestive issues sorted out and are heading in the right direction.

As an adult shelter dog, she certainly has a few behavioral issues we’re working on (namely, serious food aggression and an extreme dislike of strangers looking her in the eye) and we haven’t figured out all her littler quirks (it’s hard to figure out what sets her off when she immediately flips between growling and snarling to jumping in your lap to lick your face), but after a mere three months, she’s already a member of the family.  I can’t believe someone gave her up and dumped her off at a rescue ranch, but I’m so happy they did, and the timing was right that she could come home with us. 

Dreidel Dog has pretty much violated all the rules I set out for her – no sleeping on the living room couch (see above: but who could resist a black and white polka dotted dog on a black and white herringbone couch?), no licking my face (we’re still working on not doing this, but she gets in a good lick once in a while), and no climbing on the bed – while she still hasn’t tried to sleep in the bed, this weekend she figured out how to throw her paws around me and pull herself up into our bed in the morning.  Today, to thank me for providing her with a loving home, food, and very expensive veterinary care, she tried to use my face to haul her 70-pound self  up into bed, leaving me with a nice scratch below my eye, on my eyelid, and a black eye.  Thanks, dog.

It’s a good thing you’re so cute.

Furry Family

On August 9, 1997, a litter of kittens was born a few blocks away. A couple of weeks later, my parents and I wandered over to pick out our new cat. My father immediately scooped up one; I clung to another, and my mother glared at both of us and reiterated that we would be bringing home ONE kitten. Of course, several weeks later when they were ready to move on to their new homes, both kittens came with us, and spent the next several years nearly inseparable (as they aged, they became more independent and started prowling the house on their own instead of as a team).

Even though my parents have been his caregivers for many years now (I, of course, was not permitted to bring a cat to college, and there was no way my parents were splitting up the pair and letting me take him to my first grad school apartment), they have always continued to refer to Zeus as "my" cat -- after all, without me, he wouldn't have become part of our family. And, cliche though it may be, he certainly was a part of the family, always waiting on the coffee table staring out the window to greet us on our way home, and immediately jumping into the lap of anyone who sat in his favorite recliner.

It is with a very sad, heavy heart that I have to report that "my" sweet kitty is no more. He passed on this morning at the vet due to unexpected kidney failure, tragically unable to hang on as my parents rushed home from Puerto Rico to say goodbye. It's hard enough to actually say goodbye to a pet; but truly unbearable to not get in that one last ear scratch and knowing your pet, essentially a member of the family, passed away not being petted by someone he loved, but alone in a cage at the emergency vet.

Zeus, wherever you are now, I hope you always have a warm lap available and all the mice you want to chase!

Broken Heart

My grandfather just had a heart attack. Well, correction, my grandfather had a heart attack nearly 48 hours ago, but for reasons which I will refrain from ranting about now, no one bothered to tell me until 30 minutes ago. So really, I just learned that my grandfather had a heart attack.

My grandfather is 90 years old, and in better shape than most people I know my own age. He lives along a golf course and walks the entire length every day, collecting lost golf balls for my father. He uses the cardio equipment in his retirement home. He walks to the grocery store instead of driving. He makes very healthy food decisions, is not a smoker, and only drinks on occasion. He is in such great shape, the past two times he has had surgery, his recovery has taken less than a third of the time he was told it would take, to the shock and amazement of his surgeons. My grandfather has always been indestructible, and at his last physical, was told that he should easily live to be well over 100.

My grandfather just had a heart attack. He isn't a candidate for stents and the surgeon thinks he is too old to undergo bypass. He was essentially told today that his heart is a ticking time bomb -- they can't predict when, but he'll have a massive heart attack and drop dead.

And do you know what he said in response? That all he wants is to live one day longer than his wife, so she never has to be alone for a single day.

I think my mean old heart of coal just broke in two.

My grandfather, brightening my world since 1983.

Lost

I found out that my grandmother is scheduled for surgery on Friday, to have her brain tumor removed.

Husband and I are supposed to leave for vacation tomorrow, a combination of a celebration of our one year anniversary, but far more importantly, one last chance to do something together before he moves away. 10 of the past 12 months have been call months for him, so the majority of our marriage has worked such that we have seen each other for a few (2-3) hours for two days (most of which involves me cooking and him playing Playstation, then him cleaning the kitchen while I analyze data), and then not at all for the next two days, with the pattern repeating. Given the few hours per week that we see each other, and the fact that this is now going to decrease to one, sometimes two, weekends per month, we were very much looking forward to spending a whole week together, just the two of us, with no lab/hospital time.

But now, my grandmother is having surgery. Back in January, her neurosurgeon did not opt to do surgery because her chances of survival were not high. She has only gotten worse since then, along with her chances of surviving major neurosurgery.

My parents and grandparents say we should go. My grandmother wants no funeral, no ceremony, no memorial – nothing. She is old, cranky, and miserable, and no longer wants to be living day-to-day as unhealthy as she is. She has been ready to die for months, and my parents suspect that the reason she agreed to the surgery is because she is hoping she will not pull through. She does not want her death to alter anybody’s plans – my aunt and her husband are in Barcelona (my uncle is an opera singer, currently performing with the Gran Teatre del Liceu) and she does not want them to fly back regardless of the outcome; my husband and I should go on our vacation – nothing should change.

But even if she doesn’t want anything to change, everything would change. And I don’t know what to do. Do I ignore my dying grandmother’s last wish and cancel my trip and last opportunity to do something with my husband so that I can be around my family, even though that wasn’t what she wanted (and will upset my still-living grandfather)? Do I go on vacation because that is what my grandmother wants – even if it means being far away from the consolation of my own family? Do we leave as planned on Thursday, and then if she doesn’t make it through on Friday, turn around and have a 12-hour drive to Pennsylvania?

Moments like now, even more than usual, I wish I had a sibling, or even just one single first cousin, who would be going through the same thing and might be able to offer up some advice. Having a tiny family just makes the depressing even more depressing.

I fear that no matter what decision I make, it will be the wrong one.

Thank You, Penguins

The first six games in the Penguins-Capitals series were back-and-forth, jumping up-and-down nail-biting type of games.  And, as a huge Penguins fan, I am, of course, ecstatic that the Penguins won the series and will be advancing in the quest for the Cup (and the fact that I hate the Capitals makes the victory that much sweeter).

But the best part about extending the Penguins season?  It continues to give me an excuse to talk to my father every other night.  I don’t call home that often – generally once a week at most, usually more like every 10-12 days.  It’s not that I don’t like my parents, it’s just that my mother has horrible phone etiquette and I cannot handle talking to her.  From the moment I say I need to go and say my goodbyes, it takes a minimum of fifteen minutes to actually get her off the line.  And as I have no patience for this (or the constant “When are you going to be done? Why aren’t you done yet? Do you have an estimated graduation date yet? rapid fire questions), I choose to just minimize the phone calls home.  (Really.  Every. Single. Time. She cannot get off the damn phone.  Ever.  And if I hang up on her, she calls back to yell at me for hanging up on her, even if I warned her that I desperately need to go and am hanging up the phone.)

Until hockey playoffs came into the picture.  My father follows hockey closer than any other sport, and stays glued to his TV during the playoffs.  He can give-or-take football, and taught me to love baseball but falls asleep in front of the TV more than actually watching the games.  But hockey?  And the Penguins are in the playoffs?  It’s perfect.  Every night after the game, he calls, and we discuss the game… and it is wonderful.  So thank you, Penguins, for pulling off the blowout tonight and giving me at least another four nights of hockey phone calls in which I am able to talk to my father in peace… with the guarantee that my mother will not answer the phone and ask a single question about the lab.  As a bit of a Daddy’s Girl, I really cannot thank you enough.

Barack Obama is Ruining My Life

48 hours in office, and President Obama is already on my shit-list. (And, speaking of becoming the president, I will post about my experiences attending the inauguration... it just may take a while. Now that my pictures are all at home, I am far less motivated to do anything picture-related since I can't put it together while in the lab).

So what, you ask, could the President have already done?

He invited his mother-in-law to move in and help raise the children.

Which lead to a phone call from my mother-in-law, insisting that if the President lets his mother-in-law move in to raise the children, then she damn well expects that when we eventually have children, she will be able to move in with us and help raise the children.

Thanks a lot, Barack. Thanks a lot.

My response was that if my husband is able to buy us a home equal in size to the White House, then she is welcome to come move in to a wing far away from me. One square inch smaller than the White House, however, and there will be a no mothers-in-law clause (regarding moving in; mothers-in-law will be permitted to visit.... occasionally).

I'm wondering if I can receive some sort of Presidential Pardon to prohibit my mother-in-law from moving in. It might be my only hope. Either that, or a hysterectomy.

101 in 1001

I first read about the 1001 Days Project on Sherry's blog. The idea is simple -- come up with a list of 101 things you want to accomplish in 1001 days (roughly 2.75 years). I intended to start my list on my 25th birthday, but things were busy and hectic in June, and my list was stuck around 50. Time passed, and I forgot about it altogether... and last night, at a New Year's party, discussions of resolutions reminded me about the list. So while in lab today, I finished it up, and I'm officially starting today.


I'm bending the rules a bit -- not all of my tasks have a result that is clearly measurable for success. I'm not looking to do things short term (i.e., drink 8 glasses of water everyday for 2 months), but rather to do things frequently enough that by the time the 1001 days rolls around, they have become part of my daily routine and are normal for me. But hey, this is my list for myself, so I'm going to do it how I please.

I'll update on this page as tasks are completed -- follow along with my success [link on blog navigation bar].

Between January 1, 2009 and September 29, 2011, I will...

Professional:

1. Learn to love science again.
2. Write up experiment protocols and results for each experiment within 48 hours of completion.
3. Attend seminars on a regular basis (even if it means working 15 hour days to fit seminars around experiments).
4. Do an out-of-the-box, crazy experiment -- logical experiments aren't working, so maybe something crazy will!
   
5. Present a poster at a conference.
6. Submit a paper as a first author and have paper accepted.
7. Clean chemical bench every Friday.
8. Successfully defend thesis -- become Disgruntled Julie, Ph.D.
9. Regardless of when I defend, return to D.C. for graduation ceremonies.
   
10. Figure out what I want to do post-graduate school.
11. Find a job in desired field in Philadelphia area.
    
    Relationships:
    
12. Host a girls' night once a year.
13. Host a Game-a-thon.
14. Host a Dessert-a-thon.
15. Host an old-fashioned sleepover.
    
16. Mail a card or letter to a friend once a month.
17. Learn how to make the most of a long-distance marriage.
    
18. [personal]
    
    Growing Up:
    
19. Remake larger wedding album.
    
20. Move to Philadelphia to live with Husband.
21. Buy a house or condo.
22. Buy/lease/inherit (from Husband) a car if we are not living in a public transportation friendly neighborhood.
23. Find a synagogue we like and become members.
24. Actually drag Husband to services at said synagogue.
    
25. Establish long-term primary care physician in Philadelphia.
26. Make new friends in Philadelphia, but...
27. Keep in touch with old friends and visit as often as possible.
    
28. Purchase remaining items from our wedding registry.
29. Apply for passport with hyphenated last name.
30. Sign up for life insurance with Husband.
31. Draft a living will.
    
    Financial:
    
32. Take spare change to bank.
33. Transfer money to ING savings account on the first of each month.
34. Continue to track all finances in Microsoft Money, and make a better effort to stick to my budget.
    
35. Increase savings account by $10,000.
36. Pay off interest each month on Husband's medical school loans.
37. Have at least 15 "no spend" days per month -- spend absolutely no money at all.
    
    Domestication:
    
38. Bake the perfect challah.
39. Bake the perfect cherry pie.
    
40. Host major holiday dinner at our new abode in Philadelphia.
41. Host a formal dinner party (for no specific reason).
42. Take a cake decorating class.
43. Shampoo carpets in current condo.
44. Send cookie packages to soldiers through Operation Baking GALS.
45. Create a cookbook with favorite recipes.
46. Cook something different each night for a month.
    
    Crafting:
    
47. Use up yarn in stash.
48. Open Etsy shop.
49. Sell something from Etsy shop.
50. Learn to needlepoint.
51. Master knitting in the round.
52. Make blanket for Project Linus.
53. Make blanket for Spirit Jump (and hopefully make a new friend in the process).
    
54. Learn how to quilt.
55. Knit or crochet something for myself -- I've given away everything I've ever made to other people.
56. Hand make holiday cards and send to family and friends every year.
    
57. Create yearly photo books.
    
    Organizing:
58. Clean out closet and donate old clothes.
59. Organize bathroom storage under sink.
60. Organize recipes in Evernote.
61. Print copy of all recipes on recipe cards and store in binders (less potential for disaster than dragging laptop to kitchen every time I cook something new).
    
62. Organize magazines -- scan in articles of interest and recycle remaining magazines.
63. Organize bills from past year.
64. Organize health care paperwork from past year.
65. Organize bank statements.
66. Collect all old cards and mail to St. Jude's Ranch for Children Card Recycling Program.
    
    Health, Fitness, and Appearance:
    
67. Drink 8 glasses of water per day.
68. Floss every day, not just when I have extra time.
69. Take vitamins appropriately -- i.e., split up calcium pills morning and night, not both at the same time.
70. Find a weekday when I can return "home" to central PA to see my family dentist.
    
71. Lose 20 pounds.
72. Work out three times per week.
73. Track what I eat every day.
74. Do not eat after 8pm on weekdays.
    
75. Complete Couch to 5K program.
76. Stretch daily -- make physical therapist proud!
77. [personal]
    
78. Develop a skin care routine to ward off wrinkles.
79. Get over fear of dying hair, and cover up all the incoming grey hairs rather than pluck them until I am bald.
80. Get a fantastic haircut.
81. Donate blood.
    
    Hobbies & Skills:
    
82. Start playing piano again.
83. Complete Project 365.
84. Blog at least once per week.
85. Take a photography course.
86. Learn and feel comfortable using all features on my current dSLR camera.
    
87. Read 100 books.
88. Win my fantasy football league.
    
89. Take golf lessons.
90. Go scuba diving and pursue further advanced certification.
91. Go skiing with my father.
    
92. Learn conversational Hebrew.
93. Re-read the Tanakh, cover-to-cover, in order, on my own time.
    
94. Attend Screen on the Green and picnic with friends.
95. Eat at 15 new restaurants.
    
96. Re-learn how to parallel park -- haven't owned a car in seven years!
97. Back up computer every 2 weeks.
98. Take a real vacation with just Husband to someplace wonderful.
99. Take a family cruise with our parents.
100. Go camping.
     
     
101. Be happy with who I am and the direction my life has taken.
     

Apologies

I apologize for my sudden disappearance... here I am, leading you on with promises of wedding updates and weekly recipes, and then I just stop posting altogether. Things have been a wee bit stressful around here, and after the past two weeks, I am quite content to leave 2008 in the past.

Two weeks ago, I received a phone call that my grandmother had a stroke. The bleed was too deep in the brain for the neurosurgeons to attempt anything, so we just had to wait and see what happened over time. In a follow up CT scan, an unexpected pattern of shading was found, and after two subsequent MRIs, it was discovered that the bleed was surrounding a 5cm tumor (for those who do not deal with tumors on a regular basis, 5cm in the brain is enormous -- larger than a golf ball). The neurologist was astounded that my grandmother has been able to function with no problems up to this point -- only because the tumor has been extremely slow growing (slow enough that it has started to calcify) and her brain has been able to adapt to the giant mass.

Needless to say, between dealing with doctors and visiting and not knowing what the outcome will be, the 5 days I spent out of the lab were far from relaxing and enjoyable. We returned to D.C. on Monday, and I've slowly been easing my way back into the lab -- I need a vacation after my vacation.

Here's to hoping everyone has a happy, and healthy, 2009. I, for one, am ringing in the new year in the lab, fighting with my proteins -- brand new year, same old shit.

Diary of a Doctor's Wife, Episode 004

This year, toward the end of Thanksgiving dinner hosted by my husband's aunt and uncle, my husband's aunt's (through marriage) niece showed up to visit, along with her six year old daughter. Technically speaking, she is not at all related to my husband, but since she lives with my husband's uncle and is at almost every family gathering, she has become, in essence, a cousin.

The cousin and her mother were unable to attend our wedding, and thus we had not seen them since... quite possibly, last Thanksgiving. She was well aware of the fact that we were married now, from the big deal of her great-aunt and uncle shopping for formal attire and spending the weekend away, but had not processed the fact that Husband was now a doctor.

Upon realization of this, her eyes suddenly lit up. "OH!" she gasped, "He's a doctor! So THAT'S why Julie married him!"

Alas, now I can even get snarky comments from a six-year-old regarding why I married my husband. Also, what, exactly, are they teaching children in kindergarten these days? Back in the good old days, every boy in my class wanted to be a fireman or a policeman. Now, do they all stand up and say "When I grow up, I want to be a doctor, so I can land me allllll the honies!"