Sniffle

Things that suck: comprehensive exams.
Things that really suck: comprehensive exams starting in 3 days.
Things that really, unbelievably suck: comprehensive exams starting in 3 days and waking up with a 103 fever and raging sinus headache rendering me totally dysfunctional on the studying front.

Clearly, the powers that be do not want me to get this Ph.D. :'(

I think my only hope now is knowledge osmosis... as I spend the rest of the day miserably curled up in bed trying to sleep, maybe if I put my epidemiology notebook under my head the information will pass through the pillow and into my poor overworked little brain. I didn't realize that figuratively being sick of studying would manifest itself as physical sickness, too.

>:o

It is Saturday.
It is a beautiful 70 degree day in January in Washington, D.C.
I am stuck inside, eyes glazed over staring at my laptop, trying to remember whether flipase or flopase rotates lipids inside-out versus outside-in in the membrane bilayer.

I've learned one thing from all this studying for comprehensive exams: I really don't like science.
New career suggestions, anyone?

Current Panic Advisory: SEVERE

It is after 2am and I am bashing myself in the head with my biochemistry textbook. I practically have to keep poking myself in the eyeball to stay awake. My index finger is literally dripping blood, as it has been snagged in my binder more times than I care to count tonight. My mind is focus solely on attempting to absorb as much information as possible, so I don’t dare dart my eyes off the notes for the three seconds it would take to look at the binder as I snap it shut. I cannot possibly cram one more peptide sequence or drug inhibitory pathway into my brain, and yet I still have all of epidemiology and biostatistics to cover, and I’ve already forgotten all the methods and pharmacology I studied two weeks ago during my miserable winter “break” which consisted of being locked in my room studying for ten hours per day. Studying which, by the way, has proven to be absolutely useless because I can’t even remember important facts like the difference between Bcl-X(L) and Bcl-X(s)… one is part of the pro-life pathway and one is part of the pro-death pathway in apopotosis but I can’t remember which one belongs where.

I have considered, multiple times, weaving all my printed out power points slides together into a noose and just hanging myself. I wonder how many Ph.D. students are sent to the loony bin due to breakdowns while studying for comprehensive exams. Ironically, my boyfriend is currently doing his psychiatry rotation at the moment – perhaps I will wind up paying him a visit. The least he could do is steal me some Xanax or valium, or at least some Ritalin -- I could use a little something on the side to help me focus more on the actual studying and less on what I will do with my life after I fail the comprehensive exams and am forced out of the program, kicking and screaming.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached full out panic mode. And it is not a pretty sight.

Stuffed with Sufganiyot

Dr. Free-Ride caught me red-handed with a sufganiyot, so here goes....

1. Latkes or Sufganiyot?
Definitely latkes. Despite the post title, I really don't like sufganiyot (jelly-filled doughnuts, for you non-Hebes)... in fact, I don't like any doughnuts. I eat one sufganiyot per Hanukkah season to appease my mother. But latkes... everyone loves a good latke (but only with sour cream)!

2. Multi-colored candles or blue-and-white?
We used both. There is a tin of the cheapy multi-colored candles, and a box of fancy blue-and-white hand-dipped swirled candles, and it just depends which is closer to grab (if there are guests over, we always use the fancy candles).

3. Do you place the Hanukiah by the window or away from the window?
We have an electric one in the window. As far as the real ones, they are lit on the dining room table.

4. Favorite Holiday Dish?
Latkes! I don't eat meat, so the brisket is kind of out... although I also am a sucker for a good quiche or potato kugle.

5. Favorite Holiday Memory?
When I was little, my best friend (not Jewish) always used to come over for a night during Hanukkah. One year when her father was dropping her off for the annual sleepover, he noticed a 3-D paper dreidle hanging from our dining room chandelier, and asked why we were decorating with a plumbob. So now, ever year when my mother hangs the Hanukkah decorations, we all sit around and laugh about the plumbob. (In fact, this year aforementioned friend and her whole family came over for one night of Hanukkah, and her father even brought his plumbob with him to see if we could play dreidle with it!)

6. One Hanukiah or more than one?
We each have our own -- my mother has one with a line of Maccabees (the candles sit on their helmets), my father has one that my uncle the opera singer brought back when he was singing in Tel Aviv, and I have one which my grandmother bought for me (sadly, nobody likes my Hanukkah menorah - it's pretty ugly).

7. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I remember one year my grandmother flew up for Hanukkah and brought me a Game Boy and I was really, really excited.

8. Favorite Holiday Dessert?
I don't think we have a traditional holiday dessert - just cookies and rugelach. I guess my favorite would be the walnut rugelach.

9. Favorite Holiday Song?
I don't really associate any songs with Hanukkah. Although this year, my PI played for me a few songs by a Puerto Rican Jewish rap group from Brooklyn that does hip hop and rap versions of traditional Jewish songs in Yiddish, and it was definitely good for a few laughs.

I tag... anyone else who reads this and happens to celebrate Hanukkah. Not sure if there are any -- so maybe I should change that to anyone who has had a latke this past week!

Year in Review

1.) Where did you ring in 2006?
At my boyfriend’s best friend’s wife’s parents’ house. Follow that? We’ll be spending New Years with the same couple this year (and several other friends), but this time at their new house, instead of Erica’s mother’s house.

2.) What was your status by Valentine’s Day?
In a relationship.

3.) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Yes. I was in school the entire year, and I will be in school the entire year for more years than I care to admit.

4.) How did you earn your keep?
By very unsuccessfully attempting to cure cancer, on the Department of Defense’s dollar. That’s right – your taxes pay my stipend. Thanks, guys!

5.) Did you ever have to go to the hospital?
Yes. I spent all summer in the hospital, actually. When you work in a hospital, you go to the hospital on a daily basis.

6.) Have you encountered the police this year?
Not that I recall.

7.) Where did you go on vacation?
Aruba in January, Jersey shore in July. Nothing particularly exciting as graduate school has sucked up all my time.

8.) What did you purchase that was over $500?
A fantastic Yamaha electric piano with money I received for my birthday.

9.) Did you know anybody who got married?
I went to my second cousin’s wedding in January and my boyfriend’s friend’s sister’s wedding in July. One of my best friends from high school also got married in September but the wedding was in Oregon and I couldn’t make it out there because of lab. :o(

10.) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yes, but nobody with whom I was close enough to go to the funeral.

11.) Have you ran into anybody you graduated high school with?
Yes, but always planned with high school friends. I don’t think there were any random runnings-into.

12.) Did you move anywhere?
No.

13.) What sporting events did you go to?
More than I can remember – a couple of basketball games for my undergrad alma matter, a handful of Washington Nationals games this summer, at least one or two AHL games, and I was sitting in amazing JOE GIBBS BOX SEATS for the Redskins-Jaguars overtime game this year and it was awesome.

14.) What concerts did you go to?
I went to see Ben Folds with my boyfriend a month or two ago. I’m not sure that I went to any other concerns this year…

15) Are you registered to vote?
Of course. I was a political science major undergrad.

16.) If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7?
YES!! I HELPED TO KICK RICK SANTORUM OUT OF CONGRESS!!!

17.) Where do you live now?
Washington, DC.

18.) Describe your birthday:
I was actually at my parents’ house for my birthday, so I played a round of golf in the morning, drove to Pottsville and took a tour of the Yuengling brewery (for those of you in deprived areas which do not have Yuengling, it is the best beer ever. Seriously.), and then went out to dinner at a new Irish restaurant in downtown Harrisburg.

19.) What’s the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
Watched the sun rise from the lab, because I was insane enough to be in lab pre-dawn. This happened multiple times, actually. Also, I had the opportunity to scrub in on monkey surgery which was not something I expected out of my life.

20.) What is one thing you regretted this year?
Spending too much time in the lab and not enough time with friends? Nothing really. Perhaps not studying for comprehensive exams sooner, and then spending the time I should be studying procrastinating with things like this.

21.) What’s something you learned about yourself?
I learned that I might actually be competent as a scientist and worthy of a Ph.D. And that I am surprisingly talented at oral gavaging laboratory mice.

22.) Any new additions to your family?
No. I am the only unmarried individual and only person under 50 in my immediate family. Therefore, there will be no new additions until I tack on a spouse or a child.

23.) What was your best month?
July, because I was at the NIH all month and I loved what I did.

24.) What pop culture event will you remember 2006 by?
THE STEELERS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!

25.) How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (crappy) to 10 (amazing)?
I’d give it an 8. I have no complaints.