This may be sharing a bit too much personal information, but honestly, today was just too ridiculous to not discuss. In a bit of background leading up to the story (and the part where I may share more personal information than you wish to know), I no longer produce enough progesterone, so without taking progesterone, I don't menstruate. Frankly, as long as it's not causing any other problems, I can't say that I mind at all. However, in order to ensure that there are no other problems as a result, at the end of December I decided to put my university-provided health insurance to use and head down to Student Health. After drawing about a liter of blood for testing (not kidding) and running a bazillion tests, I was referred to radiology for two types of ultrasound to rule out adrenal or ovarian tumors.
This afternoon, I went back to Student Health for a follow-up appointment and to discuss the results of my ultrasound. This is where the story begins.
Enter: Nurse.
- Nurse: "What brings you here today?"
- Julie: "I was told to make a follow-up appointment to discuss the results of an ultrasound."
- Nurse: "And what were the results?"
- Julie: "I don't know, that's why I'm here."
- Nurse: "But what did the ultrasound say?"
- Julie: "I don't know. The radiologists didn't tell me anything at the time of the testing."
- Nurse: "So then why are you here?"
- Julie: "To find out what the results said."
- Nurse: "So are you in any pain?"
- Julie: "No."
- Nurse: "Then what is the nature of your visit?"
- Julie: "A follow-up appointment. I was told to schedule an appointment."
- Nurse: "For what purpose?"
- Julie: "To go over the results of my ultrasound."
- Nurse: "And what did the ultrasound indicate?"
- Julie contemplates banging head against wall until she has a severe headache, thereby allowing her to state that she is, indeed, in pain, which will appease the nurse.
Enter: Doctor (but not the one with whom the appointment was made)
- Dr.: after flipping through chart briefly, "So, the problem appears to be that you do not ovulate, is this correct?"
- Julie: "Yes."
- Dr.: "Are you pregnant?"
- Julie: "Is it possible for me to even get pregnant considering I don't ovulate?"
- Dr.: "I understand that you are a biomedical PhD student. Therefore, you clearly are not in comprehension of basic human physiology. When you are pregnant, you do not ovulate."
- Julie: thinks to self, 'no really? When did 'PhD' become synonymous to 'moron'?'
- Dr.: "Are you pregnant?"
- Julie: "No, I am not."
- Dr.: "Are you sure?"
- Julie: "Yes, I am positive. Last month when I was here, I had a pregnancy test and it came back negative."
- Dr.: "Could you have become pregnant in the past month?"
- Julie: "No. Especially since I don't ovulate, which I do believe is a requirement for pregnancy."
- Dr.: "Why are you here again?"
- Julie: "To find out the results of my ultrasound. And considering it was a renal, ovarian, and uterine ultrasound, I feel like the radiologist may have noticed if I was pregnant."
- Dr.: ponders this for a moment, then replies with "Before we discuss this any further, you need to take a pregnancy test. You will find urine sample containers in the restroom."
Like I said, today just proved that every stereotype about every university student health center is, indeed, true. Oh, and in case you were wondering - the pregnancy test came back negative. Quite the relief - clearly, I was reeeeeeally worried about that.
Please don't go to University Health Services...
ReplyDeleteYour story is funny, in an exasperating sort of way, but it gets worse.
When I was an undergrad, two people I knew died from meningitis because of the incompetence of the U's services.
At another U, someone I know was sexually assaulted by a doctor.
At my current U, a lot of the staff is currently under investigation and/or has been successfully sued in the past for malpractice.
Please, everyone, find a private doctor, it costs the same and they treat you better.
Please also remember to check out any potential doctors on your state's doctor licencing information website.
I don't mean to get scary about all this but this is a very serious issue.
I've enjoyed reading your accounts of working in the lab. For a clinician like me it is fascinating to learn about modern molecular biology, especially since I found it to be impossibly abstruse in medical school.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work, and keep writing about it!
P.S. I agree with the strategy of finding a private practice doctor and avoiding SHS at all costs!
I've enjoyed reading your accounts of working in the lab. For a clinician like me it is fascinating to learn about modern molecular biology, especially since I found it to be impossibly abstruse in medical school.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work, and keep writing about it!
P.S. I agree with the strategy of finding a private practice doctor and avoiding SHS at all costs!
Argh. Argh argh. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I've been very fortunate with student health at the two universities where I've been a grad student, though I will say they all looked at me pretty damn warily when I wandered down the hallways while filling a prescription when I was hugely pregnant. (All pregnant students get referred to a women's health center at a nice local hospital, thank goodness, but we still fill prescriptions on campus.) My experience in student health centers has been that you may have to seek out the competent doctors, but they are there, and you must request appointments with them and no others. And, of course, one has to be a huge advocate for one's own care.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, the student health insurance at both places I've been a student doesn't really cover private doctors unless we get referred to a specialist, and even then it's usually at a university medical center (but my pregnancy was not, interestingly enough--I had really progressive midwives--yay!). So the choice would be to pay about $10 for a student health center visit or 50% or more of the cost of seeing a doctor in private practice, which could run into the thousands of dollars very quickly depending on one's condition. And buying private health insurance with the same spectrum of coverage as the student health plan is prohibitively expensive for most graduate students.
Good luck to you, Julie.