Back to Reality

I’ve decided that the Monday morning after Thanksgiving is, without a doubt, the most difficult morning out of the year to drag myself up and out of bed. I mean, think about it – Thanksgiving is just a tease. On all the other standard federal holidays for which one gets off of school, such as Columbus Day, Martin Luther King Day, etc., it’s just a three day weekend. One extra day off, so it’s not like you make major travel plans and go anywhere or do anything, short of possibly a trip to the shore for Memorial Day/Labor Day. Basically, you use the extra day off to sleep in a bit and get some work done. Tuesday morning comes along, and off to work/class/etc you go, pleased to have had a three-day weekend. By the time Monday after winter break rolls around, you’ve had time off to relax and it’s time to go back – plus, it’s a whole new course schedule so at least it’s something different to change things up a bit. But then there is Thanksgiving. Thursday AND Friday off (and, if you’re sneaky like me, Wednesday too – my only class for the day was cancelled, so I was able to sneak out of lab for the day and extend my holiday). You’ve finally gotten into the whole not-going-in-to-work/class thing down, and next thing you know – it’s Monday morning. It’s too long of a break to just be a casual day off, but too short to actually recuperate and relax. And frankly, most of my Thanksgiving at least seemed to be consumed by traveling from D.C. to Philly and then Philly to Harrisburg and then Harrisburg back to Philly to head back to D.C. The most sleep I managed to get any night of break was 7 hours – what kind of relaxation and enjoyment is that? This morning was definitely a struggle to make it to class, and based on the fact that only about half the biochemistry class was in attendance, I’m going to assume that I was not the only one who cringed when the alarm went off this morning.
After a few days of doing significantly less studying than I had hoped (and needed) to get done, it’s back to reality. Things in the lab are going fairly well – when I’m not there, I bitch about having to go in, but frankly when I’m actually in lab, I’ve been content and I enjoy what I’m doing. It’s all new techniques for me, so I actually feel like I’m learning (although with learning new things comes the perpetual feeling of incompetency that I hate so much). I’ve realized that perhaps one of the reasons I’m not a huge fan of grad school right now is that it perpetually makes me feel guilty. And seriously now, I’m Jewish – I have more guilt built in than I could ever possibly need! I enjoy class and studying new things which will be relevant to my future career in the lab (well, so they’re trying to convince me, but I still don’t know why I really need to have the pKas of ever amino acid and their side chains memorized to be successful when I can look them up if needed), but when I’m in class I’m always thinking about all the work that is waiting for me in lab and how much I still have to finish before I can head home that evening. When I’m in lab, I enjoy the actual bench work, but I perpetually feel guilty that I’m not studying and become easily annoyed when I have to sit around waiting for someone else because if I’m not actually actively doing something, I should be in the library. I like each separately, but together – it’s miserable!
And speaking of miserable, if you’ll excuse me, halftime is now over so I must get back to watching the Steelers lose to Indianapolis. I fear it will not be a happy evening.