Disgruntled Julie: A Post-Doc in Progress?!

I spent this summer slaving away in an epidemiology lab, completing my first of the required three laboratory rotations. I actually enjoyed the research significantly more than I was expecting, although did not generate any mass quantities of data myself (the idea of rotations are to help you choose a dissertation lab – not to actually get a publication). But one day, while I was pipetting away in an attempt to identify mitochondrial mutations in the buccal cells and lymphocytes of smokers in hopes of finding biomarkers for lung cancer, I was asked to co-author an epidemiology review paper on the effects of alcohol on breast cancer. Being the new, energetic, desperate-to-please-everyone graduate student, I naturally jumped at the opportunity. So it was only a review paper and not publishing my own data, but still, it’s never a bad idea to get your name on a paper and get experience with scientific writing, right? It seemed like a grand idea at the time, so I gave my PI and post-doc the thumbs up that I would help out.

Writing my actual component to the paper took longer than expected, and I spent a significant amount of time revising and rewriting the section written by the post-doc with whom I worked all summer, mostly trying to make sense of his difficult to understand grammar (although I will give him credit for doing well, considering he just learned English a few years ago). Finally, the paper was done, and submitted to the PI of the lab for his opinion. He added in his comments; I spent a weekend making revisions while simultaneously studying for the biochemistry and methods exams, and that was that. Yesterday, however, the paper was sent back to me yet again, just to read through it and identify any last-minute changes that should be made. I skimmed through it, saved it to my desktop to focus on tonight, and just as I was saving it – noticed something that made me pause.

Across the top of the page, in large, bold lettering was the title of the paper. Below that, the list of authors, which read: Name of Post-Doc Ph.D., Disgruntled Julie Ph.D., Name-of-PI M.D. I was listed as already having my PhD. I stopped, dreamingly gazing at those three little letters after my name for a bit, realizing how nice they looked, and then grudgingly deleted them and sadly accepted that they will not belong there for another 6.5 to 7 years. So sad. Sigh.

Then I realized that the post-doc with whom I worked added a PhD after my name because he still thought that I was in the lab as a post-doc. I attempted a few times this summer to explain that I was just a student, and I thought he grasped that concept – but apparently not. This would explain why he continued to insist that I attended the post-doc meetings with my PI – I thought he just asked me to come along because I was working on a project with him and something may be mentioned that was overlooked when I sat in on the pre-doc meeting with the PI, but the whole time he thought I was in the same position as him. Then I remembered that at the end of my time in the lab, he apparently went to the PI and gushed on and on about me and how much he hoped I would return to the lab, because of I am apparently “highly knowledgeable, very intelligent, an independent thinker, and quick to master new procedures with excellent technique.” And he said all that, comparing me to what he would expect a postdoc to be able to do. Yes, that ego-boosting realization came to me today at just the proper time, after a day of feeling completely incompetent and useless in the lab and unable to even do menial tasks like autoclaving without ending up with one badly burnt left thumb.