This afternoon, Husband and I did our weekly grocery shopping trip. It's the one thing we do together (almost every) week, since he's the driver of the relationship, and since I pack all our lunches and cook every dinner that we eat, I can't lug home 1-2 weeks worth of groceries the mile long walk by myself. Husband was on a 36 hour overnight call shift last night, so he asked if we could just go grocery shopping immediately afterward, so he could just come home and sleep for the rest of the afternoon.
I was in lab all morning, so he picked me up in the lab to go grocery shopping, and dropped me back off afterward. Having just come off a call night, he was dressed in his scrubs, so in the checkout line, the female cashier made the educated guess and asked if he was a doctor. She then asked if I was his wife, and then said "So then you're a nurse, right?"
As we walked through the parking lot, Husband commented on the fact that just because I have a vagina, I'm automatically stuck in the position of a nurse. Don't get me wrong -- I'm certainly not stating that there is anything wrong with nursing, and my husband is the first to acknowledge that he couldn't function without the nursing staff -- but why couldn't I have also been a doctor? Why, because I am the female, did I have to be the nurse? But then I also wondered, why did I even have to be a nurse at all? Why didn't she think I was a teacher, or some other equally gender stereotypical role -- was it because doctors are only supposed to marry nurses? Or, more specifically, doctors are supposed to leave their first wives to run off with their nurses (I actually have two friends whose mothers were the nurses and their fathers were the doctors in this exact situation).
Of course, after venting his frustration with society and it's gender role's in the parking lot, he has thus decided to enjoy himself at my expense. This evening, every time he wants something, it has been "Nurse, get me a fork." "Nurse, wash my white coat." "Nurse, bring me some Advil." Unfortunately for him, I am not a nurse, I am a biochemist, and I have access to some extremely toxic drugs in my laboratory. Wouldn't it be a shame if some accidentally wound up in his dinner tomorrow? Whoops. (Just kidding. I know he teases in jest.)
Saturday, October 04, 2008
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Hahahaha! So question: did you get announced at your wedding as Dr. and Dr.?
ReplyDeleteBrain fart. I meant to type Mrs. and Dr. X. (but I guess soon-to-be Dr. would have worked, too, right?)
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wonder what NA and I would ask for at our wedding. Since I'm keeping my last name, it seems strange to be presented as Mr. and Mrs. NA. But Dr. NA and Dr. Unreaction is awfully ackward.
(can you tell I've been grading all day and now am drinking to drown my disappointment in the results??)
Unbalanced Reaction-
ReplyDeleteHusband and I actually fought a LOT about how to get introduced at the wedding, which stemmed from what to do about my last name. He wanted me to change it, I didn't want to change (slew of reasons from the justifiable I'm already published and none of the women I work with changed their name down to the selfish his last name is always mispronounced in a somewhat derogatory fashion). I finally decided that if I didn't change it, he would hold it against me for the duration of our marriage, so I sucked it up and compromised and hyphenated.
I told him I wouldn't be fanatical about it and return birthday cards that his mother sent to me addressed as Mrs. X, rather than Mrs. W-X but I didn't want to be introduced at the wedding as Mrs. X, because then everyone would presume that was my name, rather than even bothering to ask if I was changing it. We argued about it pretty much up until the day of the wedding, but since I was giving in and hyphenating my name, I told him his bargain was for one day, he had to consent and agree to be introduced as "The newly married couple, Julie and Scott", rather than "Dr. and Mrs. X"... plus, it made me less bitter about the fact that I was still Mrs. and not Dr. yet. :)
I recommend going for the first name introduction route. Nobody other than my husband thought it was remotely awkward. After all, how many of your friends or family ever address you socially as Dr. Unreaction? I mean, other than in the time frame just after you earned your degree and made everybody call you that? :)
I can't believe she said that. What is this, the 70s?!
ReplyDeleteInteresting about your argument over being announced at the wedding. I'm taking his name but using Ms not Mrs, but to be announced as Mr and Ms Subrosa sounds so weird... I think we'll go with "the newly married Guilty and Baddie" too, or even just "the bride and groom" seeing as everyone knows who we are!