First order of business -- this morning, I was so absorbed in ensuring that I properly calculated the molar ratios of my proteins that I was completely unaware of the date -- 10/23 -- thus making it Mole Day! So, Happy Mole Day to all my fellow biochemists and chemists out there, and anyone else who, like me, uses molarity calculations on what seems like an hourly basis.
Secondly, a coworker brought to my attention an article from Slate on the environmental case against long-distance relationships, and then proceeded to harass me for 20 minutes why, in a nutshell, I am a selfish and shitty person for embarking upon what will be a long-distance marriage come June, and how all the environmental problems in the world can now all be blamed on me. I find his argument to be selfish and shitty because really, when you think about it, my husband and I are not doing this for "fun" by any stretch of the imagination. We did not meet and start dating long distance. We dating living in D.C. We were engaged living in D.C. It just so happened that his residency will not be in D.C., and that I will not be done with my Ph.D. (or, as it seems to be, anywhere near done with my Ph.D.) when my husband completes his intern year and moves on for his residency.
This leaves us with three options. One: My husband does not complete his residency and is never actually able to help people with his chosen career as a physician, just so that we can live in the same location and not be environmentally unfriendly with our traveling. Two: I drop out of graduate school and move with him, and give up on my research in pediatric oncology and stop attempting to develop new drugs for a very malignant and understudied pediatric cancer, so that we can live in the same location and not be environmentally unfriendly with our traveling. Or three: we continue on our career paths, and as our schedules permit, my husband drives down here to visit me (the preferred option so that I can still do some work in the lab on weekends), or I take the train up to visit him.
And yet, despite my arguments to the contrary, said coworker continued to insist that if I was environmentally responsible and cared at all about future generations, I would have called off the wedding and our relationship as soon as I found out my husband did not match here in D.C.
Which, you know, despite being absurd and ridiculous, still leaves me slightly irritated and grumpy because I don't like getting yelled at -- especially when I don't deserve it. Though not nearly as irritated and grumpy as my uncooperative proteins.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I have admire your restraint. I would've just gone completely nuts on your coworker. Seriously? It's irresponsible to be doing research at all then. Think about the amount of waste that we create. Is your coworker a vegetarian or, better yet, a vegan? If s/he isn't then, s/he better for the sake of future generations. Grrr.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah and Happy Mole Day!
ReplyDeleteSome people just don't know when to shut up... any chance this coworker is um... a little unlucky in the love department??
ReplyDeleteI did long distance Montreal-Victoria for two years... do I realize that was a lot of jet fuel? um, yes. (it was also a lot of $$$$) Do I honestly think I made the wrong choice? um, NO. I mean, seriously? If they're avoidable, there's ALL SORTS of reasons for making the choice against a long distance relationship... usually the least of which is environmental impact. I can't think of anyone who would make that choice flippantly.
Tell your coworker you are a die-hard recycler and not to question your earth-love anymore and stare him/her down until they leave. Oh, and maybe make sure to turn off the lights on him/her whenever possible... you know... to save precious energy.
Question: why is everyone around you NUTS?
Tell your co-worker that the residency distribution system is damaging the environment when it matches someone with a partner in D.C. elsewhere? Or buy some ear plugs?
ReplyDeleteAmanda: Oooh, I have no idea about the vegetarian status, but that's a good point. I could even it throw it in his face, since I'm a vegetarian (albeit, because I don't like meat, not for animal rights/environmental reasons). I don't know this guy well at all, as he's not even in my department... I just see a lot of him as I hang out more and more in the chemistry side of things to use their CD machine.
ReplyDeletePhysicsChick: LOVE the light idea. If I wasn't always the first person here and the last to leave (seriously, the biochem students DO NOT WORK. Ever. Like today, I was ready with my samples to start at 9 and had to wait until 10 because nobody was in their lab), I would totally shut the lights off every time I left and say "oh, I just figured you wanted them off to conserve energy..."
Oh, and I have no idea why everyone around me is nuts. I think there is ethidium bromide in the drinking water in the research building, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. What is it with nobody working? I wanted to get into the Qiagen cabinet the other day and I had to wait until about 10:30 for someone in that lab to show up. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteOh, I know. I have thus realized that I am absolutely getting my Ph.D. in the wrong field. All I do is biochemistry with some real chemistry thrown in on the side... but my actual Ph.D. is in oncology. I work at least 80 hours/week (feels more like 80bazillion) and on a late day, am still here by at least 7 (or, you know, 4:30am). Meanwhile, if I had done the more direct route and just come in through the biochemistry department, I'd still get a Ph.D., and be working 40 hours/week. This morning, at 9:30, NONE of the labs in biochemistry were open yet. It's now 5:00, and I'm the only person still here. Meanwhile, back in my building in the oncology department, nobody will dare leave before 6 at the earliest.
ReplyDeleteI seriously feel like I'm in the twilight zone when I come over here. And totally, insanely, completely jealous.
Did you drop-kick the jerk coworker? (sorry - can you tell that I am having a bad week that is leading me towards smacking irritating people?!)
ReplyDeleteHappy Mole Day :)
SERIOUSLY if somebody gave me uninvited tirades about my choices for my personal and relationship life, I would metaphorically kick their ass. I would tell that person that it is none of their goddamn business how you and your fiance have to sacrifice to live your lives, and they should butt the f* out or you will report them for sexual harassment. Which, according to most universities' definition of harassment, is what they are doing to you with this.
ReplyDeleteJust reading this blog for the first time, but I want to let you know, and you know this already, but what you do with your marriage is YOUR deal and no one else's. My husband and I lived apart (me in Texas, he in Pennsylvania) for an academic year while he finished his MBA and I started my job. It was hard, but it was doable, we got to focus on our careers, and we made our time together special. And this was after 3 years of marriage already. Oh, and we got pregnant in February of that year. So NO ONE has any right to make any comments about your love life. They should focus on their own proteins.
ReplyDelete